Happiness

The last few years I have been going through a hard time, I hated my life. There was so many different things in life that I wanted, and I felt like I deserved all that and more, there was this one girl, who got everything she wanted, and of course bragged about it to me, it hurt me so  much. Why was God giving her everything. And me? I was getting nothing.  Everything I wanted I couldn’t have for whatever reason. I was so depressed. I heard the song “Out Of My Mind” a million times on air1, but one day as I was listening to the song on the radio these lyrics clicked.

“Feelin’ like I got a front row seat
To watching everyone be happy
Can’t even paint a smile on my face
Its so hard not to complain

Gotta try to say
Oh God what about me
‘Cause I know its not the way
That I’m suppose to be

Get me outta my mind and into your heart
It’s not about me, it’s not about me
So I’m gonna start playing my part in you design
Now is the time, to get me outta my mind
Outta my mind”

That song just described exactly how I was feeling at the moment. Everyone  I came across were getting as it seemed to me everything, they were all happy and I cried myself to sleep at night. I knew all that I wanted was so silly, even though all of this stuff was very important in life its not gonna matter when I die because I’ll be in Heaven with God and nothing that I had on earth would matter by then, I also realized there are so many other people in life that have way less then what I had at that point, so I knew it was wrong to feel the way I did, I remember saying a few prayers somewhat like the song before it had actually sunk in.
 As I was listening to this song that day I realized that there is something bigger then me, all this stuff I wanted didn’t matter, in the end all that matters is Jesus. So why should I worry about it? I just need to focus on God’s plan; not mine…