Please Don't Look

   Guys, please don't look at porn. If your single right now, you very possibly might not see a problem with it. Trust me, there's still a problem...
When I first started dating my fiance he told me on the first date that he has been struggling with a porn addition. It caught me off guard, but it showed me he wanted to start a relationship out of honesty. Not saying there wasn't other things that he had hid from me, but the other things I didn't need to know that was something I admired. That greatly affected my decision to continue to date him. I knew from that he was an honest man.
   After that first date we talked a little bit about his porn addiction. He told me that from dating me his addiction was pretty much gone. He had the desire sometimes, but not near as much as he used too. I was so impressed with him. I still understood that this was an addiction, so it wasn't going to go away over night, although he made it appear like it had.
  I never made sure he wasn't looking at it after that. I just assumed he wasn't until last week. We were in premarital counseling and my fiance brought up the fact that he had a porn addiction. The preacher was impressed we had already talked this through, but then he reminded me to keep my fiance accountable. I realized after that that I hadn't been keeping him accountable, I had no idea if he still looks at porn or not. So, after the premarital counseling was over with I asked him if he has looked at porn since we've been together. To my surprise he had. He told me that it's not an addiction anymore, he doesn't look at I ever often and that it has been three months since he has looked at porn.
I took his word. Although there was still doubt in my mind, since he has been known for little white lies. I ended up asking him a few days later if he told me the truth, sure enough he hadn't. While he still doesn't look at it very often, it had been a month since he's looked at it. I was glad he finally told me all of the truth, but I still couldn't help but feel hurt that he had looked at porn since we've been together.
  That drove me to distrust. Next thing I know, I'm searching through his phone. Going through his emails, his search history, his calls, his Facebook. I became the women I didn't want to be. I was sneaking around searching his phone, I don't want to be like that. I ended up telling him how I searched through his phone and asked him if I could have his Google password so I could check his history on that to reassure my mind, I didn't want to do it behind his back anymore. He gave it to me no problem. I searched his entire history, I know that somethings had been deleted in the past, but according to that he had only looked at porn three times (in a four day period) since we've been together. I know it's been more then that, which still hurts me. I don't want him to look at any other woman's body; I want him to look at mine only, but he can't right now since we aren't married yet. It hurts me to know he has looked at other women.
  I repeat, please do not look at porn. If you've been looking at it for years, stop now. If you haven't looked at it yet, keep it that way. While it might seem like a harmless action, it's not. Not only will it affect you and how you see women, but it will affect your future wife. I know it has affected me.
  Thankfully my fiance has been trying so hard not to look at porn, he has been trying to quit looking at it since we even knew each other. He has looked at it maybe ten times since we've been together, which is almost one year. My case really is the best case scenario. Porn destroys marriages. It causes dishonesty and lies. In any relationship you can't have those, it only hurts both people involved.