I had just finished doing dinner dishes, cleaning up random messes
in the house. I decided I was done for the night, so I head towards my
room. As I am going there I see a pile of clothes on the window seal in
the 'dryer room' that I had moved earlier that day. My brother had set
them there, so I threw them on this bed, even though I assumed he didn't
want them anymore, if that is the case he needs to actually deal with
them instead of making someone else. But here we are several hours later
and he had moved them back. What the heck!
I look at the clothes
then I look at my brother which is playing the X-Box in the other room.
Before I even thought about what I should say I find myself blurting
out;
"Why are these here?" I knew the answer. He didn't want
them, but what I didn't know is why he left them there instead of
dealing with them. Actually I knew that answer too. My brother is lazy,
plain and simple.
"Because their junk," he mumbled back loud enough I could hear him.
"Then deal with them," I shot at him. I start heading towards my room
again. "They don't belong there. If their junk then throw them away." I
mumble this, but making sure he could hear. As I finished I enter my
room. My sister was laying on the top bunk of our bunk bed, reading her
Bible.
I knew she had heard what both of us had said so I start complaining to her, about how he never
picks up his messes and always leaves it for me and her to deal with. I
pick up my brush realizing how messy it had become, and start to brush
my hair. Next thing I know my brother come into my room without
knocking. That's nothing new though, he never knocks. He has no respect for my sister and I's privacy.
"Why are you always so hateful?!" I just stare at him, that wasn't a
real question and I already made him made so its better to say nothing
at this point, it'll only make things worst. After he realized I wasn't
going to respond he left the room.
I should add, my brother and I
don't get along very well. I have came up with two reasons for this;
the first one is because we are so much alike. We both have tempers, we
both are stubborn, and somehow or another we both think 'its my way, or
the highway. The second reason is, I'm not afraid to call him out when
believe he is wrong, everyone else is. Last winter he completely ignored
me for almost two weeks because I called him out when he was being a
jerk to our seven year old nephew. Although, here lately we've been
getting along good (maybe that's because we barely see each other
nowadays), until today...
It really bothered me that my brother had said I'm always hateful,
because well I'm not. Sure whenever I call him out I use my "tone", but
that doesn't mean I'm being hateful. I started to feel guilty, not
because I had said something, because something needed to be
said. Ever since I can remember he always makes a mess, but never picks
it up, it doesn't matter what it is. If picking it up means getting up
and moving he doesn't. It's so annoying, normally I won't say anything.
I
started feeling guilty because I could have avoided this whole thing.
Sure if he would have dealt with it in the first place that would have
avoided it also, but the thing is I can only control me, so why bother
thinking what he could or should have done. A verse in the Bible came to
my mind as I was replaying everything. The verse basically says a soft
answer will prevent anger, but harsh words will do nothing but cause
anger.
I could have avoided this entire thing if I would have
just said "Hey, these don't belong here. I would greatly appreciate it
if you would deal with them". The outcome would have been so different,
even if he chose not too. I mean, yeah I would be annoyed, but at least
he wouldn't be mad at me.
Of course, there's nothing I can do now, except learn from my mistake. That's all we can do live-n-learn, plain and simple.
Proverbs 15:1
A soft answer turneth away wrath:
but grievous words stir up anger.
08-05-2014
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