I was off today, and I was so depressed (not because I was
off, although, I did wish I had worked). I was so bored, which made me
realize how depressing my life really is. The only thing I ever do is
work, I hate my days off because there's not really that much for me to
do at home, I don't have my license (I know right?! So lame), so I can't
go out and do other things, and I don't have any friends (I know, once
again, lame), so I have no one to hang out with. So here I am, at home,
bored to death, and stuck here. So I try and have some fun, I hang out
with my sister, I watch YouTube prank videos with my brother, I clean, I
talk a walk around the woods, I take some pictures, I swung, heck, I
took a nap, I really did try and make the best of my day off but it was
still so boring! So, I was a little depressed how boring it was, but
life goes on. So, after I pick up some groceries that my parents bought,
I decided to edit some pictures I took in the past, well while I was
doing this a person (someone I never actually met, but we still text
24/7) finally replied to my text, two hours later,and said "Ya lol What
you doing" I respond almost the second I received it "Nothing". Well,
yeah I'm annoyed, he already knew the answer to this question, he knows
that I'm stuck at home, no way of "escaping" the house besides work, so
why would he ask a question he already knows the answer too? Makes no
sense to me. Anyways he waits awhile to respond, then says "Why Not?
Lol" I mean seriously, we have had this conversation a million
times, does he forget or just not understand? Normally I reply I don't
know, just because, but I was feeling rather depressed about it so I
kinda wanted to explain how I felt (yes, we've had that conversation
quite a few times, but he's never giving me the chance to explain how I
feel), so I reply "Because there's really nothing to do" (take note:
there is no "lol" at the end of this, we both always put lol at the end
of our text, unless we are irritated, or a "lol" is not needed there),
before he reply's I ask exactly what he's gonna say "There's always
something to do lol" Guess what! That is exactly what he relied, word
for word. So, me being annoyed that he used the same line I snap (as
much as you can snap over texting) "You're right, there's always
cleaning that needs to be done. I could definitely do that. He responds
"Well I didn't mean that exactly but you can do that id you want lol" Oh
my goodness, he missed the point. So I said "My point was that's about
all there really is to do here." I know, you don't have to say it, he's
right, I could find stuff to do, but that was exactly what I was trying
to do all day, I failed each time, plus for a Friday night, anything I
can do at home is honestly considered "nothing". He relied surprisingly
fast "Oh well maybe but there's always more to do lol" I guess he just
really doesn't understand. It kinda makes me mad when someone doesn't
understand what I'm trying to say. So I just reply "No there's not",
then he says "Oh well I bet there is :p" (ha, no "lol" this time, he's
starting to realized I'm serious maybe? Doubtful.) At this point, I'm
just so fed up, I decided to end our conversation "Well, like I said
there's not. I live here, I would know." Then I ended it with a
goodnight, of course I knew because of my hour an a half nap at 5, I
wouldn't be able to sleep yet, but I really did need to try, I worked at
8 the next morning. I turned out my phone in frustration. Well I
couldn't sleep as I had thought. Partly because I was crying? Maybe, I
was hoping I'd cry myself to sleep. Didn't work. So, I decided to forget
trying to sleep and went on Skout (a meeting people app, but I only use
it to chat with people went I'm really bored), well that was boring, so
I started talking to my sister who sleeps on the bunk above me, she was
trying to help, she basically told me if I have a better attitude about
this and have joy then I wouldn't feel so bad about it, but as usual
she just didn't understand, so I decided not to even try and talk with
her more about this. I decided Facebook was the answer to me not being
about to sleep, and I was scrolling down my newsfeed and a church
"Facebook friend" liked a picture, that picture said something like
"weeping my endure for the night, but joy comes in the morning, Psalms
30:5" That helps me so much, it made the tears go away pretty much
instantly, I'm not sure why but it did, I really needed that, funny
thing was I knew before I saw that joy was gonna come in the morning
because I worked pretty much all day and working brings me joy, so it
was an awesome reminder from God. Shortly after I saw I had a Facebook
message from a customer at work (and if you was wondering, yes, he is a
guy, but he is a completely different story that I will share when I
think the story is complete), so of course I started chatting with him,
he made my day, I needed to talk to someone how depressing I thought my
life was so I talked to him about it, and really just made me feel
pretty much completely better, not that he understood either, but its
different talking to a friendish person then your sister. Anyways,
that's my story, its long and really doesn't have much of a point, but I
wanted to write about it.
09-06-2013
